Is it too late?

[labug]

Hi, I've just read through your thread and I think your W has given you valuable information, she's very hurt and she's trying to get you to see it. It may be script but that doesn't mean it's not true. We have our script too, I'm sorry, I didn't understand, Please give me another chance, I'll change. There are only so many ways to express things and the fact that we express them similarly doesn't make them any less true.

It would seem that your W's complaints are valid:

I have spent the last 2 years focusing far too much on my work, 14 hours a day, 5.5 days a week & any downtime was spent either watching football or the odd pint with my son or checking on my mother. I didn’t try to make my marriage work, didn’t spend any time with my wife & let her down completely. Due to me snoring & my wife being a light sleeper I have slept in the spare room for a long time, hence no sex. I let my marriage drift away.

And she's very truthful in that you can't change something that's been going on for years in a very short time. It took my H 2 years before he would have a conversation with me. So cool your jets, seat belt on? It's gonna be a bumpy ride just as uR said.

My first question is, why is it now so important to get her back, to be on her mind? You weren't in a loving R before, what is different now?

My second question: Do you understand why she left? Have you apologized for being absent in the M?

I did send one txt stating that all this txting was a bad idea & maybe she should only contact me if she was considering taking me back to which she replied `well you are still trying to control me & giving her no choice'!

People were telling you not to initiate convos with her but answering questions is OK. If you don't want R talk, that's OK, you might have said, I'm not in a place where I can talk about the R. I need time. W/E, but don't give ultimatums and don't tell her what to do.

What say you?