In and out of fog city

[labug]

Sooo you need to practice the validating thing (we all do) so use it with anyone, everyone. It can be helpful in all your Rs.

Do you see how you turned her statement of need into something about you?

Women (I know many) often complain that their partner doesn't listen when they want to talk about their feelings. The guy gets uncomfortable with the "feelings" thing, wants to fix it, offers unbidden advice and it then becomes his conversation.

Women do it too, I do, because I'm a fixer, I get paid to make things better so it's hard to drop that when I get home. I've learned. Other people's problems are their problems unless I'm getting paid to help or they specifically ask for help.