W is going to get her first taste of me contacting only for important stuff, and not taking her crap. I will do it with respect for her as my wife, and I won't attempt any control. So either she's worth something and will see a man deserving respect or she's a total waste of time and will be walk further away. Now, I get to see.
Jon, detachment isn't something you do out of hostility. And it's not something you do to teach the WAS a lesson. It's something you do to save yourself. Your above comment and your comment about staying on the mower when she comes by tells me you are not detached, you are still trying to do things to control her. You're still trying to snap her out of it, to teach her a lesson. But there are no quick fixes for a WAS, there is absolutely nothing you can do that will speed her along her journey. MWD uses the term "loving detachment" in some of her writings, she didn't say that in DR that I can recall but I wish she had because if "loving" were always placed in front of "detachment" then people would have a much more appropriate idea of what detachment is. It's not being cold and indifferent, it's just removing yourself from the roller coaster so that you're no longer affected by her mood swings. You retain your PMA no matter what she's going through. You said you're struggling with anger, I'm glad you recognize it because I do hear it in your posts. You're not going to get relief by trying to control her, you've got to reach within to deal with the pain that is causing your anger. Not sure if anyone has suggested The Happiness Trap to you, but it helped me a lot in understanding and dealing with my emotions.
I for sure think you need to go dim, but just remember it's for you and stick to it regardless of how your W reacts to it.
