Its a common question, one I've asked. I think you handled that exchange perfectly. Your H is in a swirl of emotion right now. He's torn by responsibility, whatever feelings for OW, feelings for you, children, etc. Quite honestly, he may be suffering from being separated from OW too, reality of life setting after deployment, weird feelings from seeing you again, and so on. Mindreading from afar, but it almost sounds like he forgot how he felt about you, and maybe is a little shocked by it.
I would continue exactly as you have been - firm, clear, caring but no pursuit.
