I think I maybe need to stop replying to the texts now & see what happens, if I do go quiet the longest it lasts is a couple of days before WAW texts, my problem is replying to every text pretty quickly, need to get over that hurdle methinks but it is the most difficult!. get my house back next week so out of bedsit land & fresh start!
Me 50 W 46 Stepson 16 Together 6yr, Married 3yr Known each other 20yr ILYBNILWY Jul 13 Found out about affair Jul 13 Left Marital home Jul 13
Thanks again FF for your feedback, its invaluable.
Hope you have a great time in the Canaries, that was one of our holiday spots (as well as thailand, spain, new york, cape verde etc etc, dont think I'll be able to go anywhere without memories! lol!)
Reading DB & DR at the moment, still have the txt issue though, for me to do a `180' it would probably mean answering all texts pretty promptly, it would be the opposite of the total lack of communication we had during the last months before WAW walked!
Although I still keep thinking I should try & go darker?
Conundrum!
I'd welcome any more comments,
Thanks
Me 50 W 46 Stepson 16 Together 6yr, Married 3yr Known each other 20yr ILYBNILWY Jul 13 Found out about affair Jul 13 Left Marital home Jul 13
Me 50 W 46 Stepson 16 Together 6yr, Married 3yr Known each other 20yr ILYBNILWY Jul 13 Found out about affair Jul 13 Left Marital home Jul 13
Seems a lot of posts on my thread have been duplicated!!!
Anyway, got my house back (I rented it out for the last few years) just been round to start on basics & work out how much Ive got to buy before I move back. It seems like I am turning a page to a new chapter that I dont really want to read, I wish I hadnt started this book! My WAW was always quite driven by money & the best jewellry, holidays etc, I actually thought (in my naivety) that when she knew I'd have to spends hundreds of £'s on moving back to my house she would have second thoughts & see the colour of money, stupid me! When I saw her the other day she had hardly any jewellery on, instead she had one of those bits of thread round her wrist, crikey she has changed, wonder how long that will last!
So a tough day today but at least I will get out of bedsit land & back to cooking for myself & living in a proper house.
Me 50 W 46 Stepson 16 Together 6yr, Married 3yr Known each other 20yr ILYBNILWY Jul 13 Found out about affair Jul 13 Left Marital home Jul 13
Well I really tried to go dark , at the end of day one WAW sends a `goodnite x’ txt then this morning a `hope you have a good day x’ txt.
Then, biggest surprise of all, she actually phoned this afternoon & a 40 minute call, led by her, mainly all questions about my MLC, why I had one, why I was so horrible etc etc. She also confirmed she had a MLC 8 years ago so I tried to explain that maybe she knew a little of what I had gone through (not listening to people etc)….she validated this!
All I could do was keep validating over & over again., It was basically a repeat of the conversation we had face to face last week.
Sometime I do not understand:
Why did she call? If she is so loved up why is she contacting me? Why does she text? Why is she asking the same questions over & over again?
As always I will spend the evening with this spinning round in my head hoping that she is changing her mind….wish I could stop that!
Suppose its time for me to try & go dark again!
Thanks
Me 50 W 46 Stepson 16 Together 6yr, Married 3yr Known each other 20yr ILYBNILWY Jul 13 Found out about affair Jul 13 Left Marital home Jul 13
Well day & a half & WAW sent a text asking why I'd been so quiet, just sent a courteous reply as usual.
What I dont understand is why, in 90% of txts/conversations she is stating how down &/or poorly she is! Maybe its time to keep remembering not to believe anything she says!
hope everyones good today!
Me 50 W 46 Stepson 16 Together 6yr, Married 3yr Known each other 20yr ILYBNILWY Jul 13 Found out about affair Jul 13 Left Marital home Jul 13
What I dont understand is why, in 90% of txts/conversations she is stating how down &/or poorly she is! Maybe its time to keep remembering not to believe anything she says!
That's good that she is at least that open to you. Just validate her feelings, don't try to fix anything for her. Say things like "I'm sorry you feel that way, it sounds frustrating!" I know inside you're thinking "well maybe leaving the M wasn't such a great idea after all now, was it?"
Ive had a glimpse of your thread & its pretty inspiring in the way you have handled everything. It really helps to think I'll be able to follow your consistency soon. More good days than bad, thats a start!
Thanks Again
Me 50 W 46 Stepson 16 Together 6yr, Married 3yr Known each other 20yr ILYBNILWY Jul 13 Found out about affair Jul 13 Left Marital home Jul 13
Ive had a glimpse of your thread & its pretty inspiring in the way you have handled everything. It really helps to think I'll be able to follow your consistency soon. More good days than bad, thats a start!
Thank you! It took quite a while for me to get to a good place, there were times when I thought I was there but I really wasn't. If you're having more good days than bad after only 2 months then you are way ahead of where I was
