Need Help!!! WAW stated she wants a D

[lovethehub]

Lovethehub,

In your signature it says "makes sense to stay together". How did you both come to that conclusion? I will look for your thread too.

thanks

BKS

BKS,

We didn't come to that conclusion together. My H started coming around near the end of May, after 3 months of wanting to D, no physical contact, no R talks, etc. We were completely separated emotionally (he had BD'd me many times but this time was different and I could tell he really meant it).

When he started coming back to me we had a conversation and he said "nothing has really changed for me, I don't think I can ever feel deep love for you again but I think it makes sense for us to stay together because of the kids, finances, etc." My first reaction was hurt and I wasn't sure I wanted any part of that, however, I quickly realized that with what I was learning on here that could change so I tried not to think about it. In July we 'agreed we were healing'.

Your post made me update my signature; I received a text from H the other day that said "I love you. I am so glad we are working on our M".

We have been M 10 years (last week) and 6-7 of them weren't great, with 4 being horrible for both of us. This is the first time I have felt optimistic that we really will work things out in a permanent way. Neither of us are falling back into our old habits (at least not yet); we are doing our best to have QT (my LL, his 2nd) and focus on each other. We have also learned how to deal with our conflicts without turning on each other, name calling, etc.

As for MC, it may be a plus that she is still showing up. I sat in MC for a long time telling H and C what they wanted to hear but inside didn't mean any of it - but I kept showing up because deep inside there was a part of me that didn't really want a D (I was the WAW at first and had an A). Your W is getting her feelings out, remember to listen and validate and keep showing her your improvements.

I wish you success!