Please don't say that. There are several of us here who have handicapped children. I am offended. I really don't think God gave him to me so that I would never be alone.
I didn't deserve the treatment I got from my ex husband any more than you did. I suffered just as you are and for a long, long time. But I learned how to stop being a victim. I learned how to rebuild my life. I did it one step at a time. It wasn't easy but it was worth it.
There are no guarantees in life. No one promised you that your husband would always be there. But God did give you your life and your beautiful children. And it is up to you to live a good life & to be there for them.
Start looking for the joy in things you used to love. Or find new hobbies & interests. It is way to soon to date when you are not over him. Do you go to counseling? most everyone here found help in doing so, I strongly suggest it.
And remember that this too shall pass. This awful time will become a distant memory & your feet will touch the ground again. Use the stop sign technique - learn to redirect your thoughts. I used to allow myself a total of only 5 minutes a day spread out through the day to think those bad thoughts - it worked.
It has been 12 years since it happened to me. Now I realize that there was a better life ahead for me. I just had to put one foot in front of the other & push fwd. I had to trust that it would be alright.
