Thank you for the explanation about validating. You are right AS. I have only asked her to not say that I lie to her in front of our kids. She has done this repeatedly and we are a family that does not believe in lying or keeping secrets. I will keep working on my validation skills.
I feel that I have come a long way since the BD, and that was in Feb2013. The more I think I know what to do regarding my MLCer, the more I realize that I have so much more to learn. It is a slow and painful process that we must go through, both LBS and MLC/WAS. Thank God for this forum and all who share their knowledge with others. Thank you all.
I have for the most part, given up on thinking that we will ever reconcile and I am good with it for the most part. I still pray for strength and patience to get through this crisis. I know we have a long way to go. I am moving forward with her wishes for the D. I am not helping her with it mind you but, I am not hindering either.
Surprisingly, we are still in couples counceling. I come away from MC with a good feeling most of the time. Not because we are working on R but we are able to get our points of view across and out and the open. She still thinks I am the root of all evil but for whatever reason, she continues to show up at MC.
I will update later. I will try to participate more actively in the near future but work and attorneys take a lot out of me these days.
I hope the day finds you all well and making progress.
