In response to a couple of things. I really wasn't beating myself up, it was a good evening. I actually slept well for a change. As for the hug, it wasn't expected, I am just making a note of it.
I am starting to see the pattern. We have a good evening, I get upset as he's leaving, he runs away, I get more upset, the fight is on and we back track.
I noted no hug as this is where I am usually upset, but I wasn't. I simply wished him a good night and locked the door behind him. According to our pattern, I should be calling him upset and angry that he won't just come home and it comes through in everything I say and do, even if I don't say the actual words.
After the last round, I am trying something different.
He texted later last night to say he had a nice time. I told him it was nice to have him over and left it at that.
