My question is: he keeps saying he is absolutely in love with OW. Do I have hope? Did anyone here ever go through something like that? H is in love and then comes back to love his wife?
Oh yes, it happens a lot. Many marriages have survived infidelity. Often the LBS will hear exactly what you have, that the WAS doesn't love them anymore, that the OP hung the moon and is the only person for them, that there's no chance they'll ever change their mind, etc. etc. There are chemicals that are released into the system when we get involved with someone new, that's where the "puppy love" feelings come from. Most affairs crap out within 6 months because those puppy love feelings are not sustainable. That's not to say he will definitely come back, there are no guarantees. But there is definitely hope.
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I still haven't received the book, so I'm not quite sure what to do.
Did you read the link to Sandi's tips that I posted on the previous page? Those are kind of the DR crib notes. That's what you need to do.
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H has agreed and even asked to go to counseling.
Go along if that's what he wants, but MC never helps when a WAS is one or both feet out the door. Do not initiate any MC discussion yourself. Don't push him into it. But if he initiates it, then it's OK for you to go.
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Today he woke up in a bad mood and has been maintaining a lot of distance
He'll go back and forth a lot, get used to it. Sometimes it'll seem everything is fine and he wants the M, other times he'll be grumpy or even an outright monster.
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Now, the thing I don't understand is: H is super touchy feely but he will not only not touch me, but actually recoils when I reach out to him. It's like he is disgusted by me.
That too is fairly normal from a WAS. He doesn't want to touch you. He probably isn't "disgusted", it's more like it doesn't feel right to him.
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we have long conversations almost every day
If you're starting these then stop. Read Sandi's rules and live them. Do not ever initiate R or M talks. If he initiates, then just listen and validate, don't try to reason/ beg/ plead/ negotiate.
