You sound very calm and rational discussing all this THX, I'm impressed!

You have to decide what you want first. What are your deal breakers? How much is your M worth to you? As you have learned, saving this could take years.

Realize the "talk" is her wanting to tell you she's (still) done.

Avoiding it when she is pushing for it will not help your cause.

Doesn't mean she'll actually go through with D though. Look how many of our sitchs drag on even after they've said they were done. Apparently we (and the M) weren't so bad after all.

Personally, I like to remain friends... until I'm done. Then the best buddies thing is done too. If your W wants to do things together, do it if that's what you would like too. Don't cut her off thinking you're teaching her a lesson. Just be your new self when you are with her. Let her SEE what she'll be giving up on.

Quote:
If she tells me about OM, what should my reaction be?


Again, is this a deal breaker for you?

I'd tell my W there's no place for another man in our M, and then not bake her any cakes. That's new mans job.

M: A really long time.
Crisis: 5 years.
She's still worth it.

Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl