NEW LIFE / NEW ME - TAKING OFF!

[Fartiltre]

Kate,

I think that she stated it is the perfect opening for " oh by the way, get your own exchange....."

Thanks – I guess I just got lucky. The rest of the item’s I need to address is still waiting and if I do not get lucky again I will have to move on these sortly!



Sandi,

Our youngest GD asked me why daddy and couldn't live with them (and step-dad). Very hard to explain!

S10 has asked me the same question a few times and it is a hard one. It is all their hurts, wishes and dreams expressed in one little question.

My son's youngest child told me something that made my heart nearly crack. Every time she tried to talk to her mother, she got pushed away and told her they would talk later. "Later" never comes.

I see myself in this sentence and I hate to admit it! I have 180 this totally since BD and I simply feel good about it – still much to do but I am getting closer.

Sorry, I didn't mean to get off into my own stuff. I barely mentioned it on another thread or two. It was a very difficult time and I want you to know that even though I never went through a D with my H, I have certainly experienced it throughout my family.

Don’t be sorry! First of all I asked the question, remember? Secondly you have given me so much of your personal time and attention and therefore it is also nice for me to know a little about you. I try not to put any of my sit in other threads as well or at least as little as possible but do feel free to speak on my thread – all you want!
I can’t even imagine the pain I would feel if one of my children has to go through this later in life! Statistics say 1½ of them will and I if so – I will be there for them all the way through this! Your son is lucky to have a skilled and caring mother!

I may stand completely alone on this idea, but I'll throw it out and you do what you want about it.

I hope you will keep throwing your ideas or thoughts and I will listen every time!

In general I agree but I do not think GS and gym’s are the right examples. Ds have always attended something.
W is trying to make the best of the situation and IMO she has to. She is definitely trying to distract them! Things she used to hate like a trampoline in the garden, chocolate in the lunch box and fast-food is now implemented in Ds life.

It may be W's way of trying to distract them from the emotional pain....or maybe not, IDK

In short – I think you are right: she is trying to distract them , to show them how fun the “new” life is, how many things they can do because they now live in the city and so on!....and she is trying to show herself the exact same thing.

I do also think one of the reasons she wanted to put the Ds appointments in my calendar is for her to show me how much they are doing. She is also trying to show me that her decision was/is the best for everybody. She is seeking justification.
I have absolutely no picture about what or how much of this is going on at W place! I do not trust that W is telling me or anybody the whole and nothing but the truth. I don’t even believe she is doing that towards herself so I don’t talk with anybody about this.

And then again – I really don’t know anything. This is mindreading and I am not going to act on any of it.

I am just going to find my new best, in the role of a single father and that includes some of the same things. I have adjusted working hours, changed routines, put new things in lunchboxes, bought gifts, accepted more TV/Gaming time, redecorated their rooms and so on – so in fact I am doing the exact same things and the only difference is that I don’t feel like telling W about it.

I now have stated to W that I don’t want for her to make any appointments in “my” time and hopefully she won’t. She came down on me when I told her 6-8 weeks ago that D6 attending GS would be uncertain. I have taken her three times since then and the last one she didn’t want to go. She has talked a little about it again this morning but I can’t get inside her head and help her….perhaps in time!

I feel good but seeing the children hurt is killing me.

F