Getting there with 180 and GALing part 2

[Not Quitting]

I'm sure they do this just to wind us up you know .

Mine just texted to tell me how much the cell phone bill is this month and how much he hows me for his share - boy will I be glad when we're out of contract and can split the account. He only forgets to tell me when it's due - not that it's important or anything

[TryingToDo180]

I'm sure you're right, they just love to wind us up I think they also know which buttons to press to wind us up as well! I need to get to the stage where no matter how many buttons H does press, there'll be no reaction from me. I've still to master this one

[TryingToDo180]

So it's been quite an eventful day today. Went to college and applied to be an ambassador for the Beauty Dept, my friend wants to be my second in command
Got back into town and a friend that I know who's a hairdresser wants me to have the back room in her shop to do some beauty therapy I'm meeting her later this week to talk about it
Went to get a few bits from a shop and my son announced that H has planned that I'm spending Christmas Day with my son and he's spending Boxing Day. I went cold all over I can tell you and felt a bit sad about this. I suppose you all know why because you've probably experienced the same feelings as me.
Anyway, after I got over being sad came the other emotion - anger! He didn't even have the decency to ask me what were my plans and don't you think it's a bit early to start making plans anyway? He obviously knows what he's doing! He's a MLCer so what else can I expect! It just shocked me that's all! Anyway my son laughed and said that my H is talking about Christmas already! I just said yes I know!
Got home and planned to phone up the job centre to sort out this business enterprise scheme that I can apply for. Got 2 phones calls one after an other. The first was just an appt I'm attending and not really that important to write about. The 2nd call shocked me. It was my mum and she's invited me and Josh to spend a night with her in a posh hotel near us for my son's birthday This is from someone who has never invited us before to stay with her in a hotel, but then now H has gone it's a different story! I've got mixed feelings about this, I'm happy to be going but sad that she was never able to accept my H for who he was.
Anyway we sorted the hotel out and me and my mum have got a room each with a four poster bed in it, told you it was posh My son is sleeping in a twin room next door to me as I wanted his room to be next to mine. It should be a nice weekend and it's in the Cathedral City which we love Mum has never been to the cathedral so a tour is definitely in order It's a pity I've got to rush off to college the following day, but we're off to a beauty show We get to get beauty products for a cheaper price and without VAT
So a mixed day all round! Just started reading this thread - http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=960393&page=1 If you've not read it yet then give it a read. It's really funny and so true

[Not Quitting]

Quite a mix of good and bad feelings today TTD. Great news about the offer of the back room.

I can really understand your reaction to the Christmas announcement. You'd really think that the holidays are something you should have discussed together, and not just been on the receiving end of a one-sided decision. I've got that conversation yet to come, although H will probably want to spend it with OW and our separation agreement has this nice little clause that prohibits OW (or my new partner if I was to have one just to keep the clause fair) from having any contact with S13 for a minimum of 6 months from date of separation so he won't be able to have S13 with him that day if he's with her. H did try to get me to agree to 5 months so that it could be before Christmas, but I pointed out that I'd already made a concession on that as I wanted it to be 6 months from date of signing, not date of separation.

Have you been applying DBing tactics to your mum? If you have, they seem to be working. I wouldn't worry too much about her timing and the fact that she has never accepted your H - a lot of in-laws are that way. Just go and enjoy the posh hotel and the weekend.

[TryingToDo180]

Thanks for the post NQ No I've not been applying DB principles to my mum, this was totally out of the blue! I don't know if we do subconsciously apply DB or not. One book that has helped me loads is the book that MH recommended to me called change your life and everyone in it. It's definitely worth a read.
Also I believe that God has been working in my life and working on my parents. He'll get to my H in his own time, lol. H needs more work doing to him than my parents, lol.
It's annoying that even I don't know what I'm doing for Christmas yet. I'm still hoping that one of my friends will invite us over to spend Christmas day with them or my mum might invite us over to the hotel she normally goes to near where you used to live NQ - South West England.

[Not Quitting]

I printed off that thread you mentioned and gave it to my friend who's H has recently moved out (he's definitely MLC). She's only had time to read the first paragraph but it's the first time I've seen her smile in a few weeks. Her dad is in the hospital so she's got the added stress of that, but she said she's going to take Midlife for Dummies with her tonight and read it while at the hospital.

My H has been thinking about Christmas - he informed me last night that he's already got his present for S13 (and possibly his birthday as well due to the price). At least I know what he's got so there won't be any worries about both of us getting him the same thing.

There's some really nice hotels in the south west, and the weather's usually pretty good, or at least it used to be. I think they've been getting more snow over there the last few years that we have over here. The whole of the area is really nice - I used to live just an hour bus ride from two different seaside towns - different bus routes of course - and each had their own type of beach (one had fine, white sand; the other a darker, more compact sand). That's one thing I really miss - no seaside towns anywhere near me now.

[TryingToDo180]

I've not got a seaside near me either, living in the midlands, lol. Our nearest seaside town is Wales! Funnily enough, I also printed out the midlife for dummies and read it on the bus on the way to college. It talks about 2 things that scream H to me The first one was not keeping the house clean and the 2nd one was ironing him pants (or T-shirts in my H's case).
I have this problem at college every weds. One of the girls in our class seems to think that having my son waiting for me is a major issue. It always leads to what a bad father H is and how I'm better off without him. It really puts me in a bad mood and we don't finish until 8pm on weds so I'm irritable for the rest of the night. I hate it when people say you're better off without him and you're too good for him. The last straw was she called him a pervert today, which I can't understand why. I'm not as loud as her so I can't really answer her back apart from agree with her and when I do answer people like that it always puts me in a bad light with the other person.
I feel better now since I've got home though I got a free small bottle of belgian chocolate baileys through the post, which is absolutely scrummy I'm off college now until Monday and as always I've got a busy few days lined up. I don't think I'll get a chance to do some decluttering any time soon, lol.

[Not Quitting]

I've not got a seaside near me either, living in the midlands, lol. Our nearest seaside town is Wales!

We do have a few beaches – surprising there’s a couple of good ones in the major city near here. There’s also a few north of us, a good couple of hours highway driving though. And they’re all freshwater – if you can call the water in any of the Great Lakes “fresh”. My aunt and uncle used to own a caravan in northern Wales and my cousin went to college in Cardiff, and apparently I was “made in Wales” as that’s where my parents lived when they first married and they were expecting me when Dad was transferred to another base. I loved the few trips I made to Wales .

I have this problem at college every weds. One of the girls in our class seems to think that having my son waiting for me is a major issue. It always leads to what a bad father H is and how I'm better off without him. It really puts me in a bad mood and we don't finish until 8pm on weds so I'm irritable for the rest of the night. I hate it when people say you're better off without him and you're too good for him.

More DBing practice? I had a few co-workers try telling me that I would be better off without my H, and saying that they couldn’t understand why I hadn’t just turfed him out and been done with it. It does get frustrating doesn’t it.

I feel better now since I've got home though I got a free small bottle of belgian chocolate baileys through the post, which is absolutely scrummy I'm off college now until Monday and as always I've got a busy few days lined up. I don't think I'll get a chance to do some decluttering any time soon, lol.

I don't think we've set a deadline for completing our decluttering, have we?

[TryingToDo180]

lol no we've not set a date for our decluttering I was thinking of doing a 180 regarding this, but so far I've not come up with anything creative enough. The book I'm reading how to change your life and everyone in it explains to do something differently to what you have been doing to break the cycle, but so far I can't think of anything! lol.
Off to the carer's meeting today, hopefully come home with more ideas

[MileHigh]

So.... Big Bang Theory started tonight.