Living My Life

[littleGTO]

Well, my H checked out about 2 yrs with the kids (& me), but recently has shown A LOT more effort with them.

After my vacation at the beginning of August (when he more than likely stopped communicating w OW) H seemed to realize that all he has is his family and that otherwise he is "alone" in the world...which led to wanting to spend more time w the boys.

Which is good.

Until he allowed OW in his life he was a good dad, but after he starting spending time and energy with her he checked out of the entire family.

I had an apptmt with my C today...very good session. Hadn't seen her four 4 weeks, so had a lot of catch up on. Felt good afterwards. She questioned the shift in my H- asking me if he came to me and said he wanted to work on things what would I say?

I said I really didn't know but that I think I am still open-minded to the possibility (even though I think I am clear about what it would take for me to even consider R).

I know timelines are arbitrary on our journeys...everyone is different. Our 1-yr separation anniv is at the beginning of Nov- I think that is the time in my head to have a R talk. I want to know 2 things-- 1)what are his interactions w OW & does he continue to hold out hope that he & her will have a future together, and 2) Has he had any thoughts about wanting to save our M.

I know-biggies. Against DB rules...but I am not afraid of the answers. Worst case scenario- he is still talking to OW & fantasizing they will be together AND "no" he has no thoughts about us being together in the future.

If worst case scenario is the reality then I am done standing. I'm not going to say this to him until I am really ready, but it is what I have been thinking for a while.

Honestly, I don't think this is the case any more. I think he has far more doubts about OW & him ever working out and that MAYBE he is thinking about US just a little bit (after all even though they were just words he did say "I love you" twice last weekend & gave me the first genuine 1-min long hug I've had since I don't know when). (BTW-his words don't match his actions so I don't believe them at all, although I do believe he still cares).