My XH also likes being helpful. But there are times that I guess he doesn't feel like being that guy and occasionally lashes out at me and tells me to hire a handyman. LOL. So tread carefully?
I dunno. That's kind of a big job. Is there a chance he can use the resentment against you? I might want to stick to offering a fun and safe place for him to be with you that doesn't look like work. Ya know? Light, breezy and easy?
Ok, so I lied. Apparently I did offer advice. But this is a case where you have to be the judge. It could go either way.
Are you saying that friends are encouraging the split? Tell us more... And who exactly.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
We had a group of four couples. I became extremely close to one of the women, K. Her H is extremely possessive and jealous, he destroyed our friendship. As things were going downhill he was essentially whispering things in my H's ear. Fanning the flames. Now my H mentions things here and there, I know where the comments came from and who said them. All of this because A wants his W under lock and key, but at the same time wants to keep his BF. It's schoolyard BS.
I can't fight that, so I choose to say nothing or non committal oh yeahs.
H is taking our D out tonight. If I can work it into the conversation over coffee when they get back, I am going to ask for help. A purpose event where our M is not in the spotlight, maybe we can just focus on sow thing else with no stress on us.
H is taking our D out tonight. If I can work it into the conversation over coffee when they get back, I am going to ask for help. A purpose event where our M is not in the spotlight, maybe we can just focus on sow thing else with no stress on us.
That sounds reasonable. Light and breezy...
Good luck!
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
So it would seem I am making a family dinner....not sure how that came about, but H said he would be "home" in an hour with our D. And we are back to him texting me daily to see how my day was.
Ok....house tidied, dinner on, out of my work clothes and there will be no conversation more complicated than I bought groceries today!
Even if no one reads this....I consider this my ongoing journal, my ups and downs...so those of you that read, shake your head and offer adviceor just chime in.....thank you!
I hope one day I can return the favour, when I learn enough myself!
Muse back on 9/2, you lost it with H, and the next day he was a brick wall, back and forth.
Its a short 24 days later, and you've come a long way... Just wanted you to keep perspective that it's barely been 3 weeks. If you have dinner, keep it light, fun. Good luck!
Dinner survived. I didn't make a single mistake. I threw out the offer of hot food, but he didn't answer....i just cooked Imagine my shock when I turned around to say something to my D and H was standing there instead...he scared the hell out of me, and found it quite funny. Ok, I did too, once my heart stopped pounding.
Dinner was quick, he raided all of my fudge!!, agreed to Saturday and left on a cheery note (no hug this time though)
Ok.....back to regaining lost ground....inch by inch
I'm glad you think this has been quick Jon.....for me this has been a million years, and for someone with no patience, a million years is a really long time.
Muse, stop beating yourself up, it does nothing for you other than make you more fearful. Let it go. Sometimes we have to do something many times before we actually learn the lesson. It's OK. Keep moving forward, but know the path is not linear.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
