Feeling anxious for no reason. Need advice...either reassurance or a 2X4. Lol!
Update:
Last Friday, I went to open a bank account in MY name only to start putting my paycheck in. H has been doing this since the EA was discovered, almost a year ago. I decided that he is being so unpredictable that I need to make sure my check will be where he can't get to it so that I can continue to pay bills, etc.
Off and on, throughout the past year, he will go on my payday and take out $200-300 dollars. So, I want to make sure this doesn't turn into him taking the whole check.
Turns out my H had a charge off on a business account last year that I was also on...so NO new bank account right now. I have to look into getting that fixed to be able to open my own.
However, H completely freaked that I was opening my own account and took that as I was leaving him and he asked me if I had a boyfriend, etc. (Um, no!!!! Guilty conscience?!) To get back at me, he took $500 out of our joint account Saturday, etc. which started a huge fight.
HOWEVER, by Sunday, after A LOT of texting and talking things out, things were ok between us and he put the money back on Monday morning. I calmly explained why I felt I needed my own account, etc.
Then, on Sunday, he also added me back as a friend on Facebook....he'd deleted me several times, recently, so I finally just quit caring about it. I had actually blocked him and he texted from work to ask why I'd blocked him and said that he'd like to be able to see the pics of the kids I post, etc.
This week, things have been ok. No fights, no trouble....and yet, I am filled with anxiety ALL week!!! For no reason at all!!! I sit at work and my heart just starts to pound because I haven't heard from him when he got off shift, etc. I get all worked up about where he might be or if he went home after work or went out drinking with his work friends.
One thing that is different, is that all week, I've avoided going out of my way to text him about anything. I've just kinda ignored him unless he texts me or approaches me at home. I used to text him in the mornings to say "Hi" or to see if he made it home safely after work. I've stopped doing all that.
Also, in the evenings, before he goes to work, we used to eat together and watch a show or whatever, while he was on his phone most of the time.
This week, I decided I'm tired of being second to his phone, so I've started eating at the table, by myself, or with the kids, if they're home from their activities. I can tell he's noticed and is wondering what's up. I've been nice to him...just not going out of my way to pursue him.
This has resulted in him actually finding me to give me a quick hug before he leaves for the night shift...which is nice. He'd stopped doing that.
BUT, it's resulted in WAY less contact between us because I'm not the one initiating any of it.
So, again, I'm feeling really anxious and worried that this is the wrong thing to do for OUR situation.
He is one of those weird MLC'ers who starts feeling like I don't care about him or whatever, if I don't contact him during the day, etc. but I just haven't felt up to it this week. I've been kinda numb.
Anyway, I'm not sure what I'm looking for on here today...but anyone else go through this or have any advice?
Why am I feeling so scared when things are going pretty good this week????!!!!
