WR, I think if I were in this situation, I would have to ask my h to be understanding and give your son some breathing room. That he's very upset w/the way things are right now and he needs space to figure things out for himself. That pretty much sums up the situation and it lets your h know that he needs to back off a bit.
I wouldn't go into any more details than necessary as your h may just get bent out of shape and say all kinds of crazy things to your son and that wouldn't be helpful to him to try to mend the fence w/his son.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
