BA: wow! Wouldn't that be funny if after all that dating you ended up with your former GF? Maybe you needed to go through all of it to come to the right conclusion. Of course, right now you really need to step back & remember why you broke up with her in the first place. Unless those issues were resolved - you could quickly end up in the same place which obviously was not working for you.
Lots to think about. But nice you and she could enjoy some time together.
Hm, "friendly" dinner with former gf and no sex...I think I'll go back to living my own life BA lol. Btw, I already have real life frustrations, bewiderment and at times exhaustion but I'll keep you in mind for my next living vicariously thorugh someone else vacation. I'll be sure to book early!
BA: wow! Wouldn't that be funny if after all that dating you ended up with your former GF? Maybe you needed to go through all of it to come to the right conclusion. Of course, right now you really need to step back & remember why you broke up with her in the first place. Unless those issues were resolved - you could quickly end up in the same place which obviously was not working for you.
Lots to think about. But nice you and she could enjoy some time together.
Barb
Hey Barb - I actually was the dumpee, not the dumper in the relationship. She has offered the friendship olive branch again and I've decided to take her up on it. Whether it leads to more than friendship remains to be seen, however at this point I'm happy to be back in touch with her.
What goes through my mind is why do you want to do this? If you're looking for an opportunity to re-ignite things, this I can understand. To deal with all the feelings you have for her just to be friends I can't. It seems like a lot of emotional stuff to deal with just to be friends. I don't think I'd do it. But hey, you're also not me
You articulated what I was thinking too. I'm all for miracles and divine intervention - I really am a believer. So BA, please know that.
But if this olive branch is ultimately going to facilitate you being stuck on her emotionally, I am concerned for you. It's hard enough being D with kids... I don't think you setting a boundary with Marianne is unreasonable. Maybe you tell her that you found out immediately that you still have feelings for her, and if there is no chance you can work towards being a couple again, you will have to pass. I think that sounds masculine, vulnerable and fair. Being a woman, if a guy said this to me, I'd HAVE to be honest back with him. We don't know Marianne's truth, so why not put it out there? It sure as heck beats false hope.
As always, I'm on the sidelines cheering for you.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
That's a great idea, Betsey! The reason she broke up with BA was that he was "too nice". By putting forward what you have suggested BA would be saying what HE wants and isn't willing to play "nice" and just be buddies. That would be a huge 180, would it not?
