ForeverYoung, thanks for that answer. That is good sound logic, something I really appreciate. My math works out about the same as yours...
New developments:
Just confirmed W has been in an EA with a coworker for months, and am confident that they went PA in mid-August, perhaps even before that. I know that she went to his house the evening after she told me she was never coming back to me.
I have been completely Dark with her for the last couple weeks. She texted me yesterday, asking, "We need to talk eventually. Is that going to be possible soon? I need to come over and pick up some winter clothes. Can do this when you are out but need to know when."
I answered that I will be out tonight so she can pick up her clothes then. But I ignored her request to "talk". After all, she filed D papers last week - I feel that the talking has been done for a while.
I fell she wants to "talk" in order to explain why she filed for D; to explain to me and to herself in that charmingly twisted MLC logic why she is justified in leaving me, and why this is all my fault. This will allow her to assuage her own guilt. Because MLC'ers can't have guilt getting in the way of the new fantasy life.
I do not plan to help her with that.
Questions:
Should I meet with her to "talk" as she has requested?
If I do, should I tell her I know about the OM? I really don't care about it that much, because I understand this affair is necessary for her to get through her MLC. I am learning about detaching with love.
If she tells me about OM, what should my reaction be?
Me:52 Wife:49 Married 19 years Son:16 Daughter:14 Bomb dropped with ILYBNILWY: May 2013 Wife moved out 2Jun13
