wife hardends heart-4

[AnotherStander]

I asked D4 to complete it it but she refused. I didn't want to pressure her but I asked again in longer intervals.

She's FOUR!!!! You have GOT to pressure her!

Each and every time she refused. Finally, she said she wanted her mom to supervise and I thought it was just an excuse.

Of course it was an excuse. She didn't want to do it. Here's what you do- ask once. If she doesn't do it then ask again and say "I've already asked you once and now this is twice, if I have to ask you again you will be punished, I will "----" (with "----" being whatever the punishment is- take away her favorite toy for the evening, or no TV, or take away her blanket or whatever). Then if she refuses again you don't ask, you quietly follow through with the punishment. If you do this once or twice, she will eventually start doing it THE FIRST TIME you ask.

I played with them a little longer and I asked again. This time D4 shot 'You are not my Father'.

She's testing boundaries like all 4-year-olds. You failed the test, you caved to her. That's OK you can get things back on track next time. Do not be afraid to punish your child, show some backbone!

I asked her why she felt this way and picked her up for a big hug.

You rewarded her bad behavior! There are times for hugs, that wasn't one of them.

[planet]

I had my successes dealing with D4 in the past.
That night, I told her that i won't play with her unless she finished her homework. That was the 'punishment'. I did not follow through properly and caved right after 'You are not my Father'.

But seriously, what was 'You are not my Father' all about?
My D4 have never ever said those words to me.

[PatientMan]

I had my successes dealing with D4 in the past.
That night, I told her that i won't play with her unless she finished her homework. That was the 'punishment'. I did not follow through properly and caved right after 'You are not my Father'.

But seriously, what was 'You are not my Father' all about?
My D4 have never ever said those words to me.

She's 4. Four year olds say weird/dumb things. Fourteen year olds say even weirder/dumber things. Just be her father.

-PM

[newman7977]

I had my successes dealing with D4 in the past.
That night, I told her that i won't play with her unless she finished her homework. That was the 'punishment'. I did not follow through properly and caved right after 'You are not my Father'.

But seriously, what was 'You are not my Father' all about?
My D4 have never ever said those words to me.

Yep they would say just about anything to get their way...that's just them being kids.

My S4 woke up today and told me "dad I will not be going to school!" He's been having a hard time adjusting going to preschool. I could've just agreed with him because I know he would act out if I say no you are going to school.

But I know what's best for him and he needs to start getting it that he will be going to school everyday. He threw a tantrum. I explained to him that everyone goes to school, his cousins, brother, sister and left him to get ready.

20 mins later he goes to me, "dad are we almost going to school? Is mom gonna pick me up?"

Kids I tell ya--hang in there planet! Stay focus on being the parent, you know what's best for your kids. Grow a thicker skin for those kinds of comments, I'm sure that's not the last.

Newman

[planet]

Grow a thicker skin for those kinds of comments, I'm sure that's not the last.

i don't know whether to laugh or cry!

Thank you for encouragement....i guess

[T1000]

You are their Dad and you always will be.

S4 smacked me in the face, pushed his brother over and emptied all the change in my car all over the floor on Sunday.
He doesn't hate us, he's just being a kid.

[planet]

You are their Dad and you always will be.

Got it man.
I no longer worry about my place in their hearts. Took me sometime to get it after BD.

S4 smacked me in the face, pushed his brother over and emptied all the change in my car all over the floor on Sunday.

That's pretty hardcore.

[T1000]

Just another day in parenthood

[planet]

It turns out that D4 really does want her mom by her side while she does her homework that night. I guess D4 wants some attention from her mom.
I spoke to W about that incident and she immediately became defensive. She said she did not teach D4 to behave that way. MIL on the other hand was very apologetic.
What!?
I did not accuse them of anything. Just shared what happened that night.

[T1000]

It turns out that D4 really does want her mom by her side while she does her homework that night. I guess D4 wants some attention from her mom.
I spoke to W about that incident and she immediately became defensive. She said she did not teach D4 to behave that way. MIL on the other hand was very apologetic.
What!?
I did not accuse them of anything. Just shared what happened that night.

She maybe feels she is to blame somewhat so she becomes defensive, quite normal for most people.
MIL might feel slightly responsible because her daughters actions may have contributed.

When she becomes defensive and you are not accusing her, calmly state what you just said to us in that you were just sharing the event with her.