This is my reply that I have drafted but not sent:
Hi,
I have no intentions of insulting you W.
When we lived together we ALL lived off £120 a month which included food, clothes and entertainment. You have been receiving the equivalent of 14.5% of my weekly wage. I have been paying what you asked for since last November whether I could afford it or not. My financial position has gotten much worse since you left. Not only am I on less at work but I am giving you money each month that we never had in the first place. I have seen a solicitor a few times. The last time I spoke with them they said even though legal aid isn't available, help with the court fees are available for people on benefits. It says on the gov.uk website: "You may be able to get help with the court fees if you're on benefits or a low income." If you have checked that out then fair enough.
There was a house valuation done by an independent properly valuator two weeks ago. The equity minus debt, solicitor and estate agent fees in the house is £3000. I am offering all of that.
You say I want for nothing but nothing could be further from the truth. I am living in a house I cannot afford and that won't sell. I cannot sell or remortgage because of the Matrimonial Home Rights. (I don't know what you do about that, can you ask her to revoke it?) I am getting further and further into debt every month. Now that the CSA are involved this will get worse much quicker. If the house gets taken off me there won't be any equity to give out let alone share.
It is my wish to get out of this mess resolve this through sensible negotiations and settle with the best possible results for everyone. There is only so much I can do with what I have or don't have.
If we can that would be great. Where would you like to go from here?
T1000
F, why would it matter if the letter doesn't sound like her? Wouldn't you get help with something this important just like T is. I know I've come here often for help with communication. Everything is not nefarious.
Good luck T, I hope the edit is helpful to you. Even if you don't use it exactly it may help you think it through more thoroughly.
Thanks Bug,
Your version is a better response although I want her to have some idea of what my situation is, she is a natural mind-reader, much better at it than I have ever been. She doesn't need to pity me but I don't sound like she has a clue of where I am if she thinks I'm being insulting and wanting for nothing.
Plus I already sent the original.
I appreciate the input!
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14