Thanks Snodderly! As you predicted, I loved loved loved London. And southern England is fabulous too! 

And you're right, my poor crazy friend's MLC has been a gift. I know her (knew her?) so well, and would not have believed it possible that she would whack out like this. Like your GYN right -- they are so supportive and horrified by whatoyou're going through. And then whap, your head is spinning around in disbelief at their own antics. 

Thanks for your advice to validate rather than try to convince her that what she is doing is wrong. We were really getting a bit tense with each other, all I could think of was the pain and destruction she is causing. But she could not see it. I have known her marital situation well for years, all of the normal problems, happy vacations to Turkey every year, pride in her H and boys, worry when her H had a heart attack. And now all of a sudden it turns out she has been desperately unhappy and unloved and emotionally abused for the past 20 years!? Holy mackeral

Linda

Me 65, Ex 64
M 38 y
2 adult S, 4 G-Kids
MLC 11/07
BD 12/09
D 3/14
Dating nice guy 7/14
Engaged to nice guy 12/17