I can't speak for everyone who has an A, but I know when I did it had nothing to do with my H. It is hard to explain but the decision came from years of feeling unloved, alone, lonely, hopeless, etc . When I finally had the A, it was about saving myself (or so it felt at the time) and feeling loved, cared for, hopeful, alive, again. What I am trying to say is that even though it was my H's behavior towards me that left me feeling like our M was over the A was all about how it made me feel, not about H. (Before I get any 2x4's, I know now it wasn't all H's fault but at the time, when he refused to go to MC or even talk with me about our M, it felt it. I have learned a lot since then)
I don't think I am saying this right (need more coffee!) but I am trying to get across the point that, as painful as it is (I have been on both sides of an A), it isn't necessarily about you. He may feel he is saving himself (unless he was always a cheater) and doesn't know how else to do it.
Anything can happen and if you aren't walking away just keep focusing on yourself, work on what you need to, bring new activities to your life and find someone to talk to about your feelings - just don't talk to H about them. Your growth and changes may be able to save the M, in the meantime, you know you cannot make him change so put your energy into you.
M 46 H 44 D 12 S 8 M 9 T 11 BD 2/15/13 "Makes sense to stay together" 5/12/13 Agree we are 'healing' 7/13 Definitely Piecing 9/13
