Got home and there was a brown envelope for me. Since W left I have always been wary of mail!
It's from the CSA. A good chance this is because of me telling her to sort out her own car insurance and inspection.
The figure for my income was more than double the correct amount!!
Been on the phone to them for an hour and just about got it sorted.
It will be about 20% more than I was giving her. Looks like I need that remortgage even more now.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
T, I am sorry for the things going on around you these days – seems rather rough from my POV.
Originally Posted By: T
It will be about 20% more than I was giving her. Looks like I need that remortgage even more now.
T, I recall you writing about your calculation on this some time ago. But this seems to come as a surprise to you. Is it? Won’t you save some money on gas and insurance as well?
F
Me:44 W:43 D7, D5 (S11 from other R)
T: 8y - not M ILYB: 8. Mar 2013 W moved: 1. Aug 2013 LRT: 20. Aug 2013 _______________________________ Do or do not – there’s no try.
What about: I never wanted any of this. Life is marching forward and tough decisions have to to made. I need to get on with my life.
I like it.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
T, I am sorry for the things going on around you these days – seems rather rough from my POV.
Originally Posted By: T
It will be about 20% more than I was giving her. Looks like I need that remortgage even more now.
T, I recall you writing about your calculation on this some time ago. But this seems to come as a surprise to you. Is it? Won’t you save some money on gas and insurance as well?
F
Thanks F.
Yes I did calculate it wrong. I thought it was done after tax but it's before.
I won't save anything.
I was giving W the money I paid for her insurance anyway. Once I get sorted eventually it will be for the best, don't have to keep looking over my shoulder at what she might do next.
The CSA told me to stop giving W anything now they are involved. The first payment won't go out until the end of October. W might have a spewing fit when she has to go nearly a month without the money. Obviously not my problem now.
I am concerned how I will manage financially until the house gets sorted but in a way slightly relieved. I always felt like I was dancing around the possibility that W would go this route, it's done now.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
Sorry to hear about the calc - that happens! Are you certain that the numbers made by and rules followed by CSA are correct? (I have many examples from here where the Gov. Department miscalculated so I would never ever trust them without consulting a specialist)
Originally Posted By: T
I am concerned how I will manage financially until the house gets sorted but in a way slightly relieved. I always felt like I was dancing around the possibility that W would go this route, it's done now.
Clarification – even negative – always brings some kind of relief. I get you! You need to work your financial concerns and I know you will. You need clarification here as well.
F
Me:44 W:43 D7, D5 (S11 from other R)
T: 8y - not M ILYB: 8. Mar 2013 W moved: 1. Aug 2013 LRT: 20. Aug 2013 _______________________________ Do or do not – there’s no try.
Sorry to hear about the calc - that happens! Are you certain that the numbers made by and rules followed by CSA are correct? (I have many examples from here where the Gov. Department miscalculated so I would never ever trust them without consulting a specialist)
Originally Posted By: T
I am concerned how I will manage financially until the house gets sorted but in a way slightly relieved. I always felt like I was dancing around the possibility that W would go this route, it's done now.
Clarification – even negative – always brings some kind of relief. I get you! You need to work your financial concerns and I know you will. You need clarification here as well.
F
I will check up on what they say when I get a final figure.
Right now it's a waiting game on the email I sent W about D.
If I don't hear anything back by Friday I will ask her when I pick up the kids.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
I’m sorry but the offer is not only unacceptable, but it is insulting.
I am struggling to bring up your children, feed them, clothe them, entertain them and house them while living on benefits. You are living in a luxury house, wanting for nothing and paying less than £70 a week for your children to live off. That is 7% of your weekly wage to support BOTH your children.
I will agree to start the divorce but there is no legal aid so legal fees (mine and yours) will ultimately be deducted from our joint assets. As you are aware I have had legal advice and I am roughly aware of what the court will order with two children and what I am likely to receive.
I am open to sensible negotiations in the hope that we can resolve matters and thereby preserve our assets.
It may be helpful if you were to go see a solicitor and then you will then appreciate what would constitute as a reasonable offer to settle.
The fees for submitting the divorce petition are £410 and solicitors fees wil be £600-£1000. Please can you le me have half of the court fees to get the ball rolling.
This is my reply that I have drafted but not sent:
Hi,
I have no intentions of insulting you W.
When we lived together we ALL lived off £120 a month which included food, clothes and entertainment. You have been receiving the equivalent of 14.5% of my weekly wage. I have been paying what you asked for since last November whether I could afford it or not.
My financial position has gotten much worse since you left. Not only am I on less at work but I am giving you money each month that we never had in the first place. I have seen a solicitor a few times. The last time I spoke with them they said even though legal aid isn't available, help with the court fees are available for people on benefits. It says on the gov.uk website: "You may be able to get help with the court fees if you're on benefits or a low income." If you have checked that out then fair enough.
There was a house valuation done by an independent properly valuator two weeks ago. The equity minus debt, solicitor and estate agent fees in the house is £3000. I am offering all of that.
You say I want for nothing but nothing could be further from the truth. I am living in a house I cannot afford and that won't sell. I cannot sell or remortgage because of the Matrimonial Home Rights. I am getting further and further into debt every month. Now that the CSA are involved this will get worse much quicker. If the house gets taken off me there won't be any equity to give out let alone share.
I would love to get out of this mess with the best possible results for everyone. There is only so much I can do with what I have or don't have.
If we can resolve this through sensible negotiations that would be great. Where would you like to go from here?
T1000
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
She could just about possibly word it like that if she had too and had her business head on. It's definitely not an average conversation.
My solicitor did say what she was asking for is reasonable. That was when the equity was 5k and not 3k it is now. I don't want to get into a massive battle over this because I will end up paying her that plus more for the fight.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
