So sorry you're going through this, you've been through some difficult and painful times to be sure!
I agree with Cadet, your H sounds like a serial cheater. Along with that goes the lying, he is stacking lies on top of lies. It's doubtful he has ever been without a woman on the side. You do need to go to IC because you can't fix him. It sounds like you don't have a very good IC though, so keep looking. It can take a lot of time to find a good solutions-based counselor. You might try a DB coach too, they are pro-marriage all the way and can give you assistance that is very specific to your sitch. Also read DR, there is a chapter that deals with infidelity that you might find helpful. Marriages do often survive infidelity, but for now you're stuck with an H that doesn't want to change. All you can do is work on yourself, and DR will help you with that too. Good luck!
