I have found myself thinking seriously about finding someone younger, hotter, and a lot less mental than W is right now.
Now that my W has decided to cr@p all over her vows, my kids' futures, and my sanity, I find my patience is beginning to fray a bit. Realistically, I think the chances of a WAS/MLCer coming back are around 15%. And in order to even get those odds, I have to Stand for a year or three before I even find out if my time was wasted. And if she does decide to come back, We will then spend a couple more years in MC helping her to forgive herself, and for me to learn how to forgive her, and to learn how to live as a couple again.
So to summarize, it seems that I have low odds of succeeding in a game where even a winning hand doesn't look so great. And in the meantime, I will have spent years waiting for someone who has treated me with the ultimate disdain, and completely disregarded the feelings and financial security of her own children.
Sorry for being so negative. Feel free to comment.
I've sometimes thought similar. Certainly we all have to figure out the best path for ourselves.
Since you're running the odds, tell me what the odds are that we'll find a compatible new partner and it will turn into a happy long term relationship? You know, like the one we had with our spouse. Also, how many years will it take for us to do this?
Don't allow your present pain to trick you into believing that a different pre-driven model is a guaranteed quick ticket to everlasting happiness. If you take a close look at the "Bail out and hook up with a new partner" option and run all the numbers, you may find it's not as appealing as it first seems. At least that's how the math works out for me... so far.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
