Well, I'm 35 and this girl was 30 - but she's single, never been married, no kids, and I have a 13 and 11 year old, and can't have any more kids. I'm almost positive it wouldn't develop into a relationship, even if there was a divorce and all that. I even told her a bit about my situation with W, so she knows what's going on.
W got really nasty last night - man, as my rollercoaster smooths out, her rollercoaster seems to get more choppy. She has yo-yoed down to "we're not a family, I don't want us to talk, we're not friends". She even changed and said she didn't want to come in for dinner anymore. Sheesh. This from a woman who a week ago was hugging me, talking about our future, and who yesterday was talking about some things that she would want to happen if we got back together. She also made a point to tell me she was going to go get pictures taken with just her and the step-kids. Gloating, almost...
Then this morning, she called me about needing to pick up some groceries, so she might be a little late getting to the house for dinner. She told me, "Don't go snooping around my apartment when you pick up D10" - and I was like, "I helped you unload some stuff, and you showed me all around it. I already know what your underwear looks like, I'm not gonna be sifting through your drawers."
I did say one thing to her R-related. Whether it's true or not, she feels like everyone in her life has let her down or quit on her - her parents, her ex-husband, friends, etc. That's part of the reason I don't go completely dim. She asked me why I wasn't just signing off on the divorce. I told her, "I'm not against divorce because it's 'sin', or because of some moral code, or I can't let go. The fact of the matter is, you can push me into divorce eventually - I can't stop it. I realize that. I'm against it because I will not be a part of the group of people that quit on you." I know the general rule here is to let them think they've lost you, or you are uninterested, but I think that would have the opposite effect for me. It's been said - she knows it now, I'm not going to keep repeating it or bringing it up.
And actually, after that, she kind of calmed down and started telling me about her new job, and we talked for awhile about more mundane stuff. As we hung up, she said, "I guess I'll come in tonight and we can talk for a little bit more."
Sigh. I'm glad I chose to step off the roller-coaster! It still swings a little bit, but it's usually minutes that I'm thrown off, instead of days...
