Hi Bug just wanted to say. Always happy to read your updates. Also an injection of having a balanced mind, heart and soul. I think you so often as I practice being mindful. Love to you Bug.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
H and I went away for the weekend and I guess we're piecing. We both want to work on the M. We want to be together but our conclusion is we need to take it slow. We're not ready to live together and we're not ready to tell anyone just yet, especially our kids. They don't need any more emotional turmoil created by us.
I've seen 25 say so many times here that she thought she and her H had a 10% chance of reconciling and that's probably what I would have said about us. There were many times I thought there was no chance. Remember it took about 2 years before he could have an actual face to face conversation with me.
Almost exactly a year ago when I did a temp check, he was done, didn't miss me, didn't think about me and wanted it over, done. It was at that point that I was really able to let go and say, 'vaya con dios, I'll be fine.'
But he made no move to end the M and we talked about that. He couldn't bring himself to do it and so realized he wasn't as done as he thought. The truth was he always had feelings for me but couldn't live with me. He needed time and space to be able to figure things out. He wanted to be happy and couldn't be happy with me. I understand that, I was a very unhappy person at that time.
I was a little worried about this weekend because we haven't spent more that a few hours together in 2.5 years. What if we had nothing to talk about? Wasted worry (as worry always is), we talked constantly, except for during the Ohio State game last night.
We talked past, present and future. We talked about better ways of resolving conflict and made a pact on how we would do this moving forward. We talked about problems from the past like my depression, his anger, sex and what we need to do differently now.
I apologized for hurting him and he apologized for not being more present, for shutting down and avoiding problems. We talked about our fears.
He mentioned more than once how he has seen the changes in me and that I am again the person he fell in love with.
He even did the 5 love languages profile with me! I can't tell you how huge that is.
So I find myself surprised to be in this place but very grateful. I wouldn't be at this point without all those who have bared their souls here. I have learned from each and every one of you.
What have I learned? Patience, mindfulness, to have few expectations, to respond not react, never to speak from an emotional place, gratitude, respect...I know there's more but it's been quite a weekend and I'm sleepy.
I might move to piecing but it's getting more difficult to write and share things here. I'll have to think about that.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
I am so happy for you! I sincerely wish you all the best and hope the future will bring you and your family good! Reading your two posts really shows that change might come even to a person that has shut down.
F
Me:44 W:43 D7, D5 (S11 from other R)
T: 8y - not M ILYB: 8. Mar 2013 W moved: 1. Aug 2013 LRT: 20. Aug 2013 _______________________________ Do or do not – there’s no try.
labug, congratulations on moving towards piecing. It gives hope to the rest of us.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
It just goes to show that some things that we consider done forever are only done right now at this moment.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
