How does what is best for the kids change based on your legal marital status? It sounds, though I'm sure it's not your intent, like you are using the kids as leverage.

I'm jealous that you have a H who wants more time and overnights with your kids.

Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
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Happiness is a warm puppy.