I totally agree with newman7977! Great, great advice in this thread!
And, with Accuray's patient help this past week or so, I can see what Starsky means when he says:
Yep. It is a paradox of DBing -- and of Life, for that matter -- that until you're willing to lose something (and realize you'll be okay), you'll never really save it.
Until you overcome that fear, DD, you will get nowhere. It's OK if you decided you're not there yet, but make no mistake about the reality of it.
Just follow their advice and you'll have a great start to where you want to be. This has to be one of the hardest things that any of us will ever endure...but you do have to reach that point (and it seems there is peace in reaching it...I'm only starting to feel some of it) where you realize that whether the marriage is saved or not, you are going to come out of this a better person.
It's so hard but you have to focus NOT on her, but on you. I am working on this with my husband....of letting him be...and working on making a much better me.
They'll notice our changes more than our words. Hang in there. Sounds like you're really trying to work on things...and I commend you for that!
