Sure, and that's what a lot of people do. And if I may make a lighthearted poke at your wording, to me my wife is more than just a package of attributes. So much so that I already know that even if I were to have a new wife who LOVED sex, I would be sad and wondering what I gave up if we were to say, visit some of the same vacation places I've been with my wife and the mother of my children.
Your wife is making you miserable by withholding sex. If you were not miserable about it, you wouldn't be here. Unless it's a medical problem, that is a wholly selfish decision on her part. She is not fulfilling her marriage contract. Why do you have her on this pedestal?
If you had a new wife who you loved and adored, and you loved and adored you back, PLUS loved having sex with you, I don't believe you would be sad -- I think that's fear talking. If you had a fulfilling marriage that satisfied you sexually, instead of wondering what you gave up, I think you would KNOW that what you gave up was years of having a fulfilling sex life to go along with the rest of your marriage. You are giving that up right now.
Originally Posted By: ssmguy
It's a sort of situation that has made me appreciate why some people go for open marriage. I find it somewhat ironic that people who criticize open marriages have often had, or are currently having, affairs of their own, which are essentially "inferior" open marriages in the sense that they are dishonest instead of open and honest.
I listen to a radio call in show with a sex therapist. A lot of open marriage participants call in. What I have learned from listening to that is that open marriage can be fun for a while, but eventually it will break you down. You can't be in love with two people at the same time, and it's almost impossible to engage in sex repeatedly with people you are attracted to and not have your feelings for them escalate. If they are also married to someone else, you're in a double bind. It seems to me to be a recipe for short term gratification but longer term mental anguish.
With this viewpoint, I see how it can lead to a great resentment. This thing which is so easy for the other to give, who wants to give, why won't the wife give it...
But then again, I thought this was the case where it wasn't going to happen because the wife was "gay"...
But even if she is "gay", she can physically accomidate the husband.
Don't know. Want to hear how this discussion goes.
