Who is this woman & what has she done with my wife

[THX-1138]

Thanks, Snodderly. That's good advice.

You remind me that it is important not to drag innocent people into the maelstrom my life has become. For a minute there, I was thinking like an MLCer, i.e, not considering the feelings of others, thinking of others as merely inanimate objects without feelings of their own, and acting on impulse without considering consequences. Child-like thinking.

But I should point out that I am an extremely empathetic man who is generally loath to cause harm. In fact, I had an MLC of my own in my early to mid 40's, so I can identify with some of the behaviors. My own MLC, however, did not result in affairs or divorce. Mostly, I just fantasized about doing bad things, but when push came to shove, I was able to walk away each time. In other words, I sinned in my heart, but not in deed.

I would not feel right about seeing anyone new now anyway. Heck, I haven't dated anyone new in 23 years. I wouldn't know how to begin.
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I do have to state that the wife's BCPs are likely intended for their actual purpose. Here's why: I found out about them through my D14. She says that W attempted to hide them, and then W lied about their purpose. Told D they were for incontinence. If she was trying to regulate her cycle, she would have told the truth, as my D14 knows about that stuff. So W told an unnecessary lie to her daughter which strongly indicates guilty feelings. Especially since the truth would have been simple and direct. Occam's razor.

At any rate, I understand that with MLCers, the eventual affair is almost inevitable, and frankly, the sooner she gets into one, the quicker the relationship with the OM will begin to sour. As rebounds always do. Obviously, I am not looking forward to this part of the ride, but I understand that it may be a necessary phase. In the sense that it might move things along, it might even be desirable.

[Since I have gone dark, I hope that I may be able to emotionally distance myself from the PA/EA sh1t she does. I hope so.]

I know she has been seeking EA's for a year or two. Last year, she told me about a few crushes she'd had (which I discounted as unimportant back then), and I know she scared off her old boyfriend last Spring. He is married, and she sent out some test feelers which he squelched. He is quite wealthy, which is humiliating to me, because I think she compares us and wishes she'd chosen him. But he lives a few thousand miles away so the OM will be someone else, I think. Doesn't matter.

Well, there's not much I can do about the potential/inevitable affairs anyway. It is going to hurt like Hell, but knowing about it before it happens might take away some of the sting. As the Brits say, "nothing to do but lie back and think of England."