I appreciate your input here. That is something I obviously overlooked. Man! This is a many faceted undertaking.
Just so you are aware, I have been doing 180's since July of this year when I learned of the A. She has since made comments about my improvements.
Just Sunday night, I revealed to her that I had made this commitment to myself months ago to be a better man, father and husband, including seeing a therapist and taking medication. She responded by telling me that she has seen a tremendous improvement with my approach and interaction with our sons.
I told her that I know what the kids need from me, but I wanted to know what she wasn't getting from me that she needed. Her response was "just focus on improving yourself and becoming the man you want to be and the rest will fall into place".
Not very reassuring, huh? Sounds non-commital to me.
I'm definitely comitted to continuing with my hard work and improving. The tough part is not really knowing what to focus on with her as far as improving our relationship because she is so checked out and focused on OM.
I mean, where's the opportunity to make progress when she doesn't leave the door open for me to make a difference?
I do many tasks for her, clean house, laundry, dishes, all the things that make her life easier. What are some things that I can do to demonstrate 180's in the realm of not meeting her needs over the years? Especially when she won't tell me what she wasn't getting from me.
Anyway, back to your suggestion. It seems like I would be putting myself at risk for a quick flight by W if I make a quick statement that I'm aware of her A's and then drop the rope and walk out!
May I ask how your confrontation went? Was it simlilar to your suggestion? What specifically, was your W's reaction and how did it proceed from there?
Vince B M=10 yrs T=13 yrs M45 / H 44 2 Boys 5 & 8 D Day: 7/16/13
