Yea AS was getting rather creative there...lol....but, then again he probably isnt that far off either..... and to all kind enough to comment earlier today, my response just a little bit ago to WAW's request: of course, not a problem.......... short, sweet and full of the nice person I am...hahaha
And it's a new day....Sandi, if you look in on this, I wanted to let you know, your right. It would do me no good to have her explain things to me. And this goes for everyone else who said basically the same thing. It's just so difficult to accept things for what they are sometimes. Especially when one was so blindsided as I feel I was.
It is hard 2, very hard. We want answers to it all now, especially when it catches us by surprise. We want so badly to correct it and make it all right.
Patience and endurance are key. Your response shows me that you are getting it now! It's so difficult to change ourselves when we aren't even sure what we did wrong. Trust the process and remain consistent.
Stay calm 2old. We are here for you!
Me:49 H:47 S: 16 T:27 M:25 My EA: 2001 His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013 Separated, but H still in house
Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.
Since I've not been in your shoes, I can only try to imagine how it would be for you. Maybe it's worse than if you had suddenly lost her in death. You would probably be shocked and may have questions that could never be answered. From what I've been told, when we loose our S in death, we eventually have to accept the fact they are not coming back.....and we see that life continues without them. And, we mourn.....hard.
I don't know if it's comparable to what you are going through or not. I'm just so sorry it left you feeling bewildered.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
2old you can get through this next hiccup, I know you can Well done on the response to the email, nice and short
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
This the most humorous and ACCURATE description I have heard yet! I must've laughed and reread that for 5 minutes!!! LOL!
Originally Posted By: 2old
Yea AS was getting rather creative there...lol....but, then again he probably isnt that far off either.....
Glad you two enjoyed it It really is a reflection of what was going on in W's head. I was lucky enough to have her open up to me a few times about what she was going through and when she did, she explained that she was very confused and wasn't even sure she knew "right" from "wrong" anymore, or what was best for her. She knew she was hurting people (particularly me and the kids) and she felt terrible about it, but at the same time she felt she had to "escape". But escape what? And to where? She didn't know that either. About 6 months after BD she surprised me with the disclosure that she had been crying privately every single day. She seemed so cold and unaffected by things, resolute that leaving the M was the right thing to do. I was really surprised to hear that what was going on inside was so vastly different than the cold, hard exterior she was presenting.
The last time I asked her how she was feeling was months ago and at that point she said she was no longer confused and was happy being out of the M. So it did change for her, and not in my favor. But for a long time she very much was that crazy car weaving all over the road.
AS sorry it didn't work with you and your H. Were you in a better position to move on when she told you she was happier out of the marriage or did you still get upset about it? My H doesn't tell me anything!
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
AS sorry it didn't work with you and your H. Were you in a better position to move on when she told you she was happier out of the marriage or did you still get upset about it? My H doesn't tell me anything!
With apologies to 2 for the brief detour , by the time I had that conversation with her I had already accepted that our chances of reconciliation were extremely small. So when she said it, it really had no impact on me. It was water under the bridge by then. And even though it's been over a year since BD, that doesn't mean I can start believing anything she says. She may very well still be in the fog and even that statement may be her emotions talking. That may be how she felt that day, or week, or month. That doesn't mean she'll feel that way forever. Feelings can and do change. All I can do is keep the way home paved and smooth (to borrow 25's saying) while I continue living my life
Well done on the response to the email, nice and short