Just because your wife has gone on birth control pills it doesn't necessarily mean she's thinking about hooking up w/someone. She may have some issues w/her cycle and wants to have it straightened out. Don't "assume" anything when it comes to the mlcer.
As for dating, I don't suggest it. Why? Because: 1) you are going to give your wife a ticket for "freedom of guilt". By dating, you are telling her you are okay w/what she's doing and you are moving on. 2) Please do not involve another person into the mix just because you are feeling lonely, etc. What happens if you and this person become very attached to each other and suddenly your wife wants to work on the marriage? The person you are dating is hurt. 3) Only begin dating if you are absolutely certain that you do not want to reconcile. 4) Your wife could turn the tables and file stating that you are committing adultery.
All I am suggesting is that you be sure that your marriage is over before getting involved w/someone else. I don't want to see any of the parties hurt and by getting involved w/someone else right now, will only cause you more confusion as to what you want at the end of the day. Be absolutely certain that you are ready to move forward and end your marriage.
Just my two cents.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
