He is trying to show her what life is like without him. He can't do that if they spend Christmas together.
Here is my take on this, and I believe it's consistent with DB'ing: if she never sees him then what exactly is it that she's living without? Out of sight, out of mind. In this context I firmly believe limited contact is much better than no contact. If the WAS sees a happy, healthy, independent LBS every now and then, they start to wonder what life with that changed LBS might be like. I don't remember zero contact being recommended in DR except in the "after the last resort technique", and in that instance MWD warns that it may lead to divorce.
I agree that she won't experience the new F if they never have any contact.
I do think in some sitches that the LBS will be missed at some point whether they are there in person or not. My W is going away for xmas with either OM2 or her parents. I don't know for sure but I am fairly confident that at some point she will wonder what it if I was there. OM2 isn't their father and has no idea how look after S4. Similar for her parents. They might help out every now and then but they aren't getting up every day when the kids rise.
When I said: "It's at times like this where certain ideas clash in DB." I was more meaning the idea's on this board for what works and should have said as much.
Right now F is following Sandi's advice as much to the letter as he can.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
