You are right. If you were a distant, cold person, going dark is probably not a smart move unless a situation specifically calls for it. I think that's why people use words like "dim" - it's semantics, but I think it's important to be clear.
My W felt like I didn't care about her, etc, so going completely dark is a mistake. However, I know she needs time and space to clear her head, and she is battling against her feelings, so I've got to let that play out.
Going dark for me helped break the irresistible urge to text/call W. I don't go out of my way to contact her unless its for a specific reason, i.e. legal reasons.
Many have pointed out that I haven't truly gone dark for a long period of time - but with the kids involved I don't know that I ever truly could; so it's as dim as possible.
