Part of being dark is being mysterious and being disinterested in her game. By having that conversation you've confirmed to her that you are still on her hook and that she has some power over you.
If you have to have a conversation, just seem distant and somewhat bored, keep it short and just business.
I am not a dark fan. Sometimes the WAS has to know you are solid and there. You can have your own life, go out, GAL and do things. THAT's what makes you unavailable.
But saying that you have to look at how you were before. Were you always available to her or more distant? In my case I was distant, so I 180'd it and it worked for me.
Jon, if your W says "if" it's a good step, but she's not ready. Continue with your own life where she sees that her coming back is an addition to your wonderful life, not the cause to your life being wonderful.
In my version of "dark" I let H initiate convos other than kids or finance. I always reply and go where the convo leads. Do what works for you
You are really early on in this. I was the LBS and didn't know my own mind a month or so in. Take time...a lot of time here. One thing I've seen is an early reconciliation seems to not have addressed any of the problems, because as humans, we are lazy and it is easy to fall back into the patterns.
