Stuck between a rock and a hard place!

[dorightman]

It's been a couple months since my last post. Here's where I'm at now.
My wife's parents bought a 3 bdr apt 5 minutes away from our house for her to rent from them. She moved out a few weeks ago. She wants a D and we have begun the process of mediation to work out the child support and alimony arrangements.
She and I want to work this out ourselves without going to court, but her parents are divorce attorneys and they have initiated a court case to keep the pressure on for us to complete this contract and to protect her incase I don't follow through. I have already begun paying her the child support and alimony.

We text/talk everyday to co-parent our two children. We also try to spend a day or evening together as a family. I have been helpful to her with her new place, fixing the dryer, setting up the cable tv etc. We haven't been fighting or even talking about the R anymore, just dealing with the stuff of D and co-parenting.

I still want her back, but I have no choice but to let this play it's coarse. She has said since the beginning of all this that the only chance we have of R is to destroy what we had before we can rebuild anything. She said that we have to start with building a new friendship first and that I need to let her come to me, not pursue her.

I have to say that building a new friendship at this point is daunting. She is covered in layers of protection and has not been able to access her true emotions for years because of her defensiveness.

I also have anger and resentment inside from all of this, yet all I want is to do the work with her to heal the past. She has not wanted to do this and has resisted any and all attempts from me.

I don't want to give up hope, but I also don't want to wait around for a person that can't or doesn't want to be with me anymore.

This has been a rough ride, going on a year and a half now. I'am mostly done with the grieving part, I'am less emotional and just trying to live my life the best I can and be there for my two beautiful kids.

I wish all of you peace and happiness and I'am thankful for the support I have received on this website!