I won't bust on you too much Jon, this is a very difficult and painful process.
The one observation I would like to offer is that you question your Ws confusion, going from one extreme to another, but in a sense you are as well. As I read through your threads you express hurt and love for your W, then the next day you proclaim that you are finished.
The truth is, you aren't finished and neither is she.
Me: 43 W: 37 Together: 18 M: 15 D: 8 yrs old ILYBNILWY: March 2011 She Filed for D: August 2011 She moved out: Sept 1, 2011 Reconciled: May 2012 Divorce Case dropped: July 2012