I guess my posts will take a while to become public, so let me update all at once
I still haven't received the book, so I'm not quite sure what to do.
I've been getting a life and doing less of the same, but I am still not sure what I am doing wrong, to tell you the truth.
H has agreed and even asked to go to counseling. He has been asking me to hang out all the time. Yesterday he would not take no for an answer.
Today he woke up in a bad mood and has been maintaining a lot of distance, but he has talked about the future.
I know this is a silly example, but my toddler made a dent on the television and H said, "I will wait an year or so to buy another one, because its just going to get broken again."
He also mentioned that he only took his wedding ring off because one day I wasn't wearing mine (because I was angry).
I didn't see any signs that he talked with OW today.
Now, the thing I don't understand is: H is super touchy feely but he will not only not touch me, but actually recoils when I reach out to him. It's like he is disgusted by me.
We had a conversation today (we have long conversations almost every day) and he said he does not want a divorce, but that he gave up on me a long time ago. Meaning, his feelings for me have died.
This is all very strange because although we were perfect before deployment, we were very close and loving.
