Dragon, isn't this your second marriage, or did I read wrong?
If it is, what changes do you have to make so we don't see you here again?
This is my second marriage. However circumstances in my first marriage were beyond my control. My first wife was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Long story short, she had the tumor removed, but it left her personality profoundly altered. She was hostile and aggressive nearly all the time, and not just towards me. I knew it wasn't her fault and I stuck it out for years. (She refused the recommended medication and therapy.) While the emotional abuse was difficult, her belief I was the source of all her trouble just wore me down. (Her doctors told me it would probably never get better if she refused treatment.) After a year or more of her threatening divorce, I said let's get divorced. As terrible as it seems, I felt such relief.
Towards the end, my now second wife and I developed a platonic friendship over our common interests. It wasn't until after my divorce was final that we started dating. I knew the risks of going from one relationship into another, but I thought I was careful. We were happy for five years before we finally married. This doesn't feel the same at all. BD was just that, a total surprise and what felt out of proportion to our problems. I don't feel relief but complete and total loss.
