I know she's depressed. She does have IC, for what little it's done in the last nine months. She has justified moving out and even filing as her IC told her to do it. (Again, don't believe what she says right?)
My xh's ic told him he needed to file so that he could figure out his life and I'd be free to move on, although a year ago he told him to keep me in his life in some way because I'm good for him, in that I know who he really is and he can trust me.
In their defense, ic's only work with that one person and only hear their perspective. And if they say the person is unhappy and depressed, but maybe it's not because of their marriage, they'd probably lose a client.
My IC told me that they are trained not to sacrifice the relationship to help the individual unless there is something serious like physical abuse. That said, it seems IC is used to justify all sorts of selfish actions.
While a IC only hears one perspective, their training should make them fully aware there are two sides to everything. I know my IC is always open to meeting individually with my wife to hear her list of grievances for the benefit of my therapy (while careful not to counsel her.) I have never been asked to meet hers individually or together.
Originally Posted By: sweetbabyred
As I gain my equilibrium, I could have held on to the roller-coaster for many more months, but I feel like her filing has put on expiration date on the ride. Depending on the terms, it might only be 2-3 months.
I thought I'd be done too when the d was final, but my feelings didn't change just because the court stamped a document. I am now free to move on, but I feel that God wants me to keep standing while I work on myself. So that's what I'm going to do until I feel I'm directed to do differently.
But that doesn't mean I keep talking about our R or our old M. I live my life and am there as a friend when he needs me. He's on a journey that he needs to complete and I don't want to get in the way.
I know I won't feel different should D day come, but I also know I want and need companionship in my life. After what will be more than a year, I will stop saving myself for the person I thought I would spend the rest of my life with.
