Having a day here with H that is threatening my newfound equilibrium lol.
What happened? Idk. I did/said the wrong thing. S20 did/said the wrong thing. The Patriots beat the Bucs. All this resulted in H ripping off the Bucs shirt S20 had given him and throwing the shirt at the child and the child out of the living room. This was followed by telling me, well, yelling it really, "First chance I get I'm out of here!"
These things always seem to catch me by surprise and I find myself grappling to get the validating/active listening in position. (Think Captain Kirk not having time to get the shields up.) I did manage to stay very calm and tell H I was sorry he felt that way.
SMH. He's still not talking to me. While I was upstairs doing laundry and replaying the discussion in my head I had a thought - what does he mean "when he gets a chance"? There's nothing stopping him but him. He has a place to go - his parents. The only thing stopping him is him.
And this after a resurgence of closeness. After telling me he wants the two of us to go on a cruise with the income tax refund. (This info left me speechless and thought-less.)
My detachment - for lack of a better word - has kept me fairly steady in the face of both his pursuit and current distance. Its sort of like checking the weather for the day. Regardless of the forecast, I'm still me.
But I am sad too. Sad that he's so miserable. Sad that he spews on S20.
On the up-side, I have a lead on a part time job! Not sure yet if it would replace fastfoodland or be in addition to fastfoodland. Realistically thinking, if H has one foot out the door it should be in addition. Or maybe, it should read "if Jaye has one foot out the door."
Idk DBers. Tough stuff.
Take care.
Peace,
Jaye
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
