This morning as I got ready for church, I turned on the tv to Joel Osteen. The channel barely came in, so I heard little of it, but this part came in clearly. "The struggles you are going through are not wasted. They are creating you into the person that you are meant to be."
The service at church was on "the myths of marriage." That you're supposed to be just like your spouse and agree on everything. That so many of us believe the fairy tales in movies and don't have examples of good, real marriages.
This one got to me, because the myths were the reasons that xh told me were why we aren't right for each other. And he's in Fl possibly starting a new relationship and he'll be just as disillusioned in that one if he doesn't realize what marriage really is.
It hurts to think of him constantly running from person to person, trying to find someone just like him, who can love him perfectly because that won't happen.
Someone else had posted about watching movies and it reminded of how, in 2009, xh went with a group of friends to watch "Up" and everyone gave him a hard time because he cried at that movie, imagining losing me and not having had the adventures with me that I wanted.
That is the man that I love. Someone who loved me so much that he cried at even the thought of losing me. So, needless to say, I've been crying off and on for most of the day. I need to shake this off and get ready to leave the house. At least I should have a good time tonight, as long as I can get this off my mind for a few hours.
M36 XH34 M-5 T7 4/11 H confused 5/11 ILYB 6/11 OW discovered 7/11 I move out, OW over 5/12-OW2,done->new EA, but H wont file 9/12 H "best bf ever" to EA/OW3 3/13 H/OW break up H files 4/13 D 6/18/13
