When amicable makes you want to scream

[Underdog]

I'm glad you saw the love in my spanking. I was here long ago and can see the potholes and obstacles a little more clearly from this perspective.

I screwed up plenty too. I don't know if my backslides we're the reason my XH chose not to give me a second chance. So I don't want you to have to wonder the same thing. I had 2 years until he filed... You may not have that long.

Puzzled is good. At least for now. What you need right now is time and consistently good behavior and words. You can do this, Muse. I can see that you want to learn. Really. So if I see the spiral again beforehand, I'll try to yell "Danger, Will Robinson!" before you shoot yourself in the foot. I know it's tempting to want to have things go your way more often. I really do. But in his eyes, you've already been in charge. He wants a turn with the reins now.

Pud, that cliche may be overused, but the other option was to use the lingo from hanging around volleyball coaches for the past 8 years. That wouldn't have been as nice. Muse got the drift. And I hope you do too.

Muse, my XH still calls my house home. He's been gone 10+ years, and we've been divorced for 8. I still kind of wonder why... I could understand if he was renting somewhere, but he isn't. I think at some level his heart is still here. Even if he's had a GF for 2 years. You just can't get caught up in mind reading. It doesn't serve a purpose, and it also doesn't get you closer to him.

Which is the whole point of being here, right? You want to do and say things that draw him closer to you. Make that your mantra with every thing you do.

Cheering for you!

Betsey