Wouldn't Take Nothing for My Journey Now

[labug]

After reading your posts I have to say I am inspired by your calm, collected attitude

Thanks, Pud, but I have to say, I didn't just wake up one day and be calm and collected, it's a practice, like anything we want to cultivate, it takes work and commitment.

So H and I went shooting together yesterday. Does that show trust or what? LBS and WAS go shooting, alone, no witnesses and both came back alive! It's something we used to do years ago and he has continued but I lost interest. My sons got me back into it, and I enjoy it. I'm not very good but it's fun and I like it much better with the improved ear protection. I hate really loud noises.

When we were driving out in the desert to the shooting spot, a woman who appeared to be older was standing by the roadside with what looked like a tire problem. I said, "We should stop" and H pulled over, got out and talked with her. Someone else had already stopped and was changing her tire but had taken the spare to get air. As we weren't needed, we left. I thanked H for stopping and he said "I would've stop even if you weren't with me." I told him I knew that and that I had answered the question "Why?" many times over the last 2.5 yrs with the simple sentence "because he's a good man, he can be a pain in the a$$ sometimes but he's a good man."

We laughed about that but it's the truth, I don't think I would have stood if I questioned his character at all.

So what have I learned this week?
1) The guiding principle of this for me is STFU especially if what I'm about to say is a judgment of the other person, or my opinion expressed negatively. If you're in an emotional place, here are better ways to say everything. STOP!

2)I heard a talk by a R expert on negativity and at first I rolled my eyes, thinking there's no way to have zero negativity. What I learned was, it doesn't mean bad things won't happen, it means we wait until we can express our feelings without being negative about the other person. Sometimes I might have to wait a long time.

3) Another ah-ha! moment:
I was reading another thread here and I realized that for a long time my H was my punching bag used to relieve my stress about things he wasn't even a part of, didn't even know about.

4)I am also made more aware that mind-reading is the enemy of truth.

We had a misunderstanding around texting. I was texting several things to H and the conversation trailed off into silence, which I don't like so I sent a text saying I was uncomfortable with convos that trailed off with no real ending so I wanted to say good night. I thought of many other things to say but all coming from the poor little me place.

He texted back good night and that was it for that night.

The next day I was still a little off about it but every time my mind would start up I'd say STOP.

Later that day he sent an email apologizing for being rude and explaining that he likes to text but for short convos only.

I can handle that and now we both know where we stand and no one is angry. How great is that?

We're making movements in a forward direction, I'm not even thinking about the destination, just enjoying the view from here.

This morning he sent me the song I'd Run Away by the Jayhawks.

Have a great week everyone.