Gosh, do I hear ya. Life IS WEIRD. Let's make that a bumper sticker.
You know, I've spent a lot of time around negative people too. Married a very damaged, negative guy. Heard how I WAS Crazy, unrealistic, lazy, yadda, yadda... And, the more I learn about myself and have some distance from our marriage, the more I see how much of H's own insecurities and troubles were projected onto me. I allowed it. I believed it. Thought I deserved it because I had let him down in some way--all the ways he told I had let HIM down. I'm not believing that now. I know I'm not perfect and I made my share of mistakes in our marriage...but, I'm beginning to see that the biggest mistake I made was buying into this idea I was not enough.
If you look at your reflection in a swampy, mucky pond, you will see a swampy, mucky reflection. If you look at your reflection in crystal clear water, the reflection is crystal clear.
I've been looking at myself through someone else's muck for a long a time and didn't like what I saw. Now, that I'm working myself free of the muck, I'm sad, not for myself so much, but sad my H doesn't seem to love himself enough to break free of it too.
Life is a lot nicer in the crystal clear water. Honest, pure, free of ick.
Heather
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
