When amicable makes you want to scream

[Pudmuddle]

Muse,

It's a hard thing to not let your emotions get the best of you in times like this. This is very hard for me as well, something I am trying to retrain. There were times when the only way I could get any reaction out of my H was to be highly emotional. So you backslid, eh, we all do.

Just go back and reread your post and notice all the very positive things that you did regarding your behavior and reactions. I saw a LOT of positives. Hang tough!