Looking for New Options If H Wants Divorce

[MrCAS]

Spending time and energy wondering if your H is thinking about you or feeling any thing for you is a waste of precious resources. When is all said and done, does it really matter? This will eventually become a type of vortex and suck you down. It will consume you and take your focus away from the things that are truly important.

Of course you both are going to be thinking of each other. You are going to feel a gamut of emotions. This a normal part of being human. It is part of growth and healing. It is a at what level and the content of the thinking that matters. You just can't let feelings consume the waking moments of your life.

From my own experience, it was when I let go and started living my life for me, with little to no thought of what my W thought or felt, that things turned around and started getting better.

After all the emotional stuff is done, divorce boils to nothing but a business deal. You have an obligation to yourself to leave yourself as financial whole as possible. Your H has the same thing. I once heard it said that the best divorce deal is when both parties walk away and feel like they each got screwed over.

Personally, I no longer understand the idea of fighting over stuff. It is just stuff. I am not claiming that i have reached some utopian level of enlightenment, just an acceptance that fighting over stuff is just a waste of my time and energy.

FWIW... I changed the locks on my house. I did it for personal safety. My W had a renter in here in the beginning of the year. Her parents, daughter, and best friend had a key to the house. Her live-in BF has access to the keys to the house as well as the garage door opener. I know someone was in the house when I wasn't here because I used the slip of paper in the door trick. While I didn't notice anything was missing it still concerned me that someone was in the house when I wasn't here and without my consent and knowledge. I also asked my W for her key and garage door opener back at one point, which she refused to do, so I informed her that I was going to be changing the locks and she didn't raise an objection. It gives me a certain peace of mind.